Where I'm Calling From

Middle of nowhere Kentucky. Small clinic amongst the whisky and bourbon distilleries. Beautiful land, rolling hills, faint smell of smoked barrels and grains. Where America was fought for over slavery and freedom.

 Getting old is getting old—the journey to a realm of limited possibilities, new possibilities, and lost chances. I don't want to stay in bed all day—that's not me. I want to keep going, growing, evolving, and not waiting for anyone's permission. In the back of my mind, I wait for permission, but in the front of my mind, I know that is not the way I want to be. 

I’ve been to many many towns, cities etc and I wonder had I not been in Las Vegas right now with some of the best indie/dark wave artists the in the country playing live right behind me… would this not be like any of those towns that I’ve been to before? Maybe I don’t know. The Strip skyline puts a different color on everything here. It’s like a safety net where you can fail and suck, but hey, you’re in las fucking Vegas. The streets are the same as anywhere else. Concrete is concrete. The cars are the same make and model. It’s a club with a bartender, beer, well liquor, so on and so forth. But there’s an added electricity and excitement here. This could be in the middle of Georgia for all you know by the pictures, but it’s not. You gotta be something, someone here… or so you think.

Do I look like a play golf? Yes it does. It’s called golf body. Wide middle, small legs and arms. Golf body. Let yourself go! But look Ike you play golf.

Why have the Germans always been right about psychology and the human condition? I've learned a lot recently from Erich Neumann . I've been struggling really hard with my place in life and this world recently, and the universe somehow steered me to this video on YouTube.  How to Integrate Your Shadow - The Dark Side is Unrealized Potential . It's strange how this happened, but I found this video in my suggestions but marked it as 'watch later' and forgot about it. So, I'm donating platelets yesterday ( a 2-hour session), looking through my 'watch later' list for something to watch, and pulled up this video. But I need to back up a bit: I have been feeling 'off', angry, useless, agitated, and unhappy lately. Amidst all my gifts and abundance, I still felt agitated and wanting. I wanted to call a therapist (3rd time's a charm!), but I could not even begin to know how to explain my feelings to someone else, so I've been putting that phone ca...

Our trip started well enough using airline miles and getting the flight from Las Vegas to Syracuse for $5/ticket. From Las Vegas to Chicago was fine but Chicago to Syracuse was delayed 45 minutes. We got into Syracuse with the help of a great van driver from the hotel Embassy Suites... Again, using points, we had our hotel taken care of. We ate dinner at Ruby Tuesday and then hit the hay. There was a hooting and hollering in the hotel due to a wedding party which is always annoying as no one likes a wedding party they're not invited to. Bill picked us up in the morning to go do some apple picking as planned. He brought 2 of his kids that are just awesome. Aiden and Connor, his 2 boys. Aiden is shy and intellectual while Connor is young, and curious. A 45 minute drive got us to Bill's house on Lake Oneida. The boys were eager to help us unload the suitcases when we arrived as it took about 45 minutes to crack their shell and open up to us. Bill gave us a tour o...