God’s breath is Mew.

God’s breath is not new. It is the oldest wind to blow across this land we call home and away from home I can see how I will call myself to return to the womb I can’t remember. I can’t place the face of my mother in the time I was young. She is familiar, but not the same. I told Patsy today that the woman I see and call my mom today has no connection to the woman I grew up with as my mother. I know she looks the same, but the feelings are not there. That is why I don’t mind not calling her and checking on her. She feels familiar when I’m near her, but I’m not comfortable around her. I think I tried so hard to get out from under her, that I repressed something by accident. I don’t KNOW.

For starters, Mew is calling me to a place I can only describe as familiar. I a place I fell in love with years ago. The tone of the voice is devastating. But then again I fall in love too easily. There are few thing sin this world I can conjure up in my head and produce tears (a few years ago it didn’t take much and I would break-down and be ashamed). Now I can count my son, my lovely wife and music that can take to a place I find familiar, but even I can’t stand to stare at myself at those moments. My world now consists of Christian and Patsy. It’s stable, familiar and warm. I live with an angel…God loves me.

There are songs composed by Mew that I can’t wrap my head around and that scares me that there is that much creativity left in the world to be executed through the guitar. The thing that really kills me is that how simple and innocent their songs are. It’s as if children had gotten together and made music for me. I love it!

I want to quit altogether and…