cont. from 10/25/2005
As we drive along this freeway the conversation fades away cigarette smoke from the old rodeo days in Canada. I think one of her hometown friends call her on her cell phone and they're discussing her upcoming divorce. I get bored and my mind starts to wonder... I think about my own life and where I'm headed and why I'm taking my own sweet-ass time doing it. I think about my personal life and where I fit-in to this world and what is this world anyway? Is it a playground for the privileged? Is it a temporary hell for the rest of us? Is it the paradise that we're all screwing up and not getting the point? Is it the end of the road and we're all fools? All I know is I'm here to do one thing and that's why I'm carrying a gun, but who will I point it at in the end? In my mind I see how I could use it on myself and I gag slightly, a small dry-heave, if you will. I hide that convulsion from my driver and move to other thoughts. I think, "would my wife mis...