Where I'm Calling From

That's not a question that's a damn lifestyle. To quote the cheesiest Metallica lyric..."My lifestyle is determined by my deathstyle.". Or maybe that's reversed...anyway that's what I'm getting at...not only does drinking alcohol set my mind free, among other things, but it takes so much out of me and shortens my life-span. All dry, good-bye.

This is what I hear when I close my eyes… Broken Social Scene being cool and creative with their beats. I beat beat beat my heart out in and out. I wish I was here to be there to see me crawl around on all 2’s and 3’s. There’s a mystical connection here that we all can’t see but when we do we get scared because we’re too close to the truth about everything. I’m not afraid to talk about ‘big’ things and comment on the world living around me. Really, it sounds grand, but damn, don’t criticize me for speaking up about shit. I only feel sorry for you because you don’t express these things. Don’t think of me as a flake because I’m here doing this. I think its all flakey to say you don’t think about these things because you’re afraid to take –on what you don’t fully understand and stay safe in your highly structured, ordered world. It’s random bitch! Deal with it! Wine is good, but it makes you do stupid shit when nobody’s looking. Blank.

My wife and I took my dad and son to the local pizza buffet for lunch. No problem there right? Well, to be honest, this has happened before. We have been to the pizza buffet a couple times before, it's a good place to eat. Anyway, I get a couple slices from the buffet hotplate/counter, then my wife goes up to the counter while I grab some napkins and straws. I see her out of the corner of my eye and here and old voice say, "pardon me" and I turn to see the overweight sickeningly slob of an old man push his shit-filled Depends-wearing self in front of my wife with his grandchild. I put down my napkins and straws at the table and walk-up to the counter and in a purposely loud voice say, "Did that old man push in front of you?", my wife says, "Yes.". I believe my wife, she's a very honorable person. The elderly sack of shit prolly didn't hear me because he had 2 things on his mind: 1. Eating as much pizza he can thus filling his diaper w...

"I don't know what the freak, freak is happening… old-age, or older-age rather, but I'm ballooning. I won'’t disclose me my exact weight, but it'’s significantly more robust that it has been in the last eight years since I started low-carbing it. For no reason my middle is mui grande and I've been only slightly eating less low-carb lately. I think I may have ruined my body's ability to make use of the food I eat. Any amount of carbs, my body doesn'’t know what to do with it, and it immediately stores it as fat. This may be OK if I keep my carb-intake low for the rest of my life, but what about the long-term health implications? I hear I can ruin my kidneys of I keep eating so much protein etc. I'’ve pretty much written that one off because I think I would have seen signs of kidney trouble by now after 8 years of eating low-carb. But I guess those effects are latent and I wonÂ’t have viable kidneys when I'm 80 years old or something. Al...

It springs forth from below. I do not know where it comes from. Where is it? Where did it go? Who has it? Who really has it? Who posses it? Who really has it? Who can say they have it? Everyone is posing for it but we are all the same...we are all lame...we are all the same.

94.9 in London,ON is NOT a college station which is even better! It's your usual privately owned radio station that puts heavy emphasis on indie/cool/creative music. ROCK ON LONDON, ONTARIO!!!

~this is in Lincoln, NE~

I am back in Canada...in London to be exact. London is about 200km west of Toronto, the hot-bed of music right now. It's cool here literally, 80 degrees at home and 50 degrees here. It's cool here too, for another reason, they recycle everything, everywhere, even in the hotel room they have a recycle bin. The college radio station here, 94.9FM, plays great music and even the larger local station, 96FM, plays Metric. They ARE a local band, but still they're very indie and under the radar. I could live here, anywhere but Texas. The heat kills, the landscape bores etc. Anywhere, but here. This hotel has a kick-ass fitness room: 4 treadmills, 1 bad-ass elliptical, a weight machine, free-weights, 2 benches and 1 rowing machine (which looks like you have a be a kinetic physicist to work it). I have obviously skipped over the previous cities I've worked in like, Jackson, MI, Cumberland, MD (which actually was extremely beautiful being amidst the mountains of we...

My itinerary has changed from New Orleans to Hickory, NC. So here I am in Hickory, NC, the furniture-making capitol of the world. Where's my couch? . Failure to communicate is the key to a disaster... .. I am full of ideas on how to break this down and break us down. It's simple process of denial, lies and hate. Hate being the wild-card. I can deny we exist while looking at my self dead in the mirror. And while I do that I'll lie to you and tell you that you're alive and well in me dreams, that's not true. Just like "Animal Rights" is the worst rock album ever made we can pretend that we're happy and all is good in the world. But back to the task at hand...me, taking you out with one punch. I've seen it done before and I think I have the upper-body strength to do it. Let me try. Give me one shot and if I fail you can walk away. I've been practicing this move, so let me try, just once. After all the years I've loved and respect...

... your murder. I 'm lost, your lost and lust. We are all dirty, filthy particles of dust. Misery is everywhere, bring me flowers and I will cry for them. I don't mind the ridicule from the boys who don't cry or the macho heads who say that we shouldn't express ourselves, ALL OF YOU...FUCK YOU ALL!!! I WILL MURDER YOU FOR YOUR LIES AND HIDING, YOU STUPID FUCKS AND YOUR HIDING PLACES, FUCK YOU ALL TO HELL AND BURN TO DEATH. I am string for releasing the inner man. I am miserable, I am humble, I sleep underground tonight and dream, oh I dream. I dream of me and you together sleeping tightly, nightly and soft from the rain and the wind trying to change us and weather us to smooth our sharp edges and make us ineffectual. I will lie here and breathe. Beat me, oh, beat me to death, but I'm already dead, I beat you to it, I beat you to it tonight. Tonight belongs to me and my lonely soul.

my photos

"What if I looked you square-dead in the eye and told you I was gonna hurt you in ways that would make your deceased mother sick? Made her vomit a pool of sorrow and pain? I can do that. Make you and her slip and slide in that puddle of mess and lose you footing on life?" What do you say to that? I was left staggering and motionless while my brain rocked and reeled it's way back to consciousness. I have never been hit that hard in the gut and soul. Words like that don't come along very often especially from a woman like this one here. I swore I would get back at her for saying that to me or anyone else. There are times you can get away with that, but this wasn't one of them there was no time for conflict and people around was were getting a little concerned with us. I needed to get on a plane and make my flight to San Fran...quick. I had no time to deal with this right now. The hour was getting late, the fog was settling in and my gun was getting cold...

It springs forth from below. i do not know where it comes from. where is it? where did it go? who has it? who really has it? who posses it? who really has it ? who can say they have it ? everyone is posing for it but we are all the same...we are all lame...we are all the same.

Oh, this headache. Wife's gone gambling in Lake Charles, I'm here watching the kids watch Doom . I have not blogged in a while coz my job's kickin' up on me taking away my free-time and stuff. But I have been alive. I've seen some good movies. I actually thought Starsky and hutch was good, but what else you gonna get when you put Ben Stiller , Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson together? A good movie, that's what you get. In my travels with my job I've eaten at some good places too. Can't remember all of them, but they've been in: Beaumont, TX, Charlotte, NC, Detroit, MI. OK, this is getting to be a lame-ass blog. "Today I saw a pony...". Nothing new here. n/p-Doom, the movie

Boysh. These past two nights haved sucked for me. I haven't been able to sleep at all. I have this bad cough that keeps me up all night. I can't lie recumbent, supine, prone or in the Simms position. I need to be elevated at least 45 degrees before the mucus irritating my bronchus is stable and doesn't stimulate the villi in my trachea and lungs. The first night I downed some Mytussin that I've had for about a year for the same symptoms. A Dr. I worked with wrote the Rx for me. That would have worked fine but I took it too late. It' kicked-in around 6AM and I had to wake-up at around 6:30AM to get Christian off to school. So, tonight I'm up blogging for I can't lie down. This morning I found some Mucinex in the cabinet (you should see our cabinet, it's disgustingly filled with all kinds of meds, both herbal and synthetic). This stuff causes you to cough-up whatever is in you that causes you congestion. Kinda gross actually , but it works.....

7.1969696969696969696969696969697 Miles High. It looks as though a lot goes on up here, but we're not apart of it. Leonardo Da Vinci tried, Michelangelo tried to be apart of it. We keep reaching, but we can't get there. I try, I try every week to hang-out up there as long as I can. The silence must be deafening. Jackson, MS. n/p-iPod, Shuffle Songs

Up at 5:27AM and hot in the shower. Not shaving today, I hate to shave. I like being shaved, but not the act of shaving. It hurts too bad. Like a wise man once told me, "God gave us men beards, why shave them?". I agree, but not really because I still shave. This is the view from my hotel room window in Atlanta: The pic in the previous post was from my hotel room in Birmingham. She told me she was the only left in her family and that nothing could harm her. I disagree. Her parents past at a fairly early age each, in their 50s. Her sister of cancer. She has no children herself. The family line stops with her. And nothing can harm her now. No one lives forever, I say. I believe I'm right. The ride goes-on and the tension cracks the air like lightning. I'm swelling inside with this severe anticipation of the thing that I cannot do. I can't make a clear decision, not on a night like this. The pain in the back of my knee increases with each ...

Do you know me? No. I don't visit you, I don't like you. You're almost single-handedly responsible for urban sprawl on a massive scale. You supply the suburbs with everything it needs and then some. You offer such low prices people can't help but shop inside you. So I had this dream last night where I'm back where I used to work before where I work now. The job is a bit different, and there are some people there that didn't used to be. I'm doing basically the same things, radiation oncology, but my co-worker and I are fighting a lot. Over simple things we yell at each other. It's gets weird: It's time to go and I'm trying to take off my scrubs and find I'm wearing a belt with 2 jars attached to it. One jar on each side of my waist with tops on and a tube coming out of the top connected to a place I can't see. I disconnect the tube and I have to clamp the tube off with a paper clip because I can't find a pair of hemosta...

I'm calling from Calgary, Alberta, Canada. First-off, thank you to the nice guy from Toronto who took a chance on an unshaven guy from Texas to hold his spot in line while he checks to see if AA can check us in for our international flight on the first class ticketing counter. He saved my night, but doing that. He gave me the thumbs-up and I grabbed another guy and we bolted over to the first class agents. I ran to gate D38 and just in time I made my flight. Had in not been for the quick-thinking of a Canadian I wouldn't be here now, maybe, but it wouldn't have been good getting to site a day late. Thank you Toronto-ist! Ladytron, from the mp3s I grabbed the other day I am oh so glad. This new Ladytron is phenomenal. It's so juicy and thick and danceable. It's everything Ladytron which is: Those great melodies that make you want to drive around in a big city at 99 mile per hour with the stereo blaring while you hold on to your girl's hand, look her ...