Where I'm Calling From

51 posts to make this fence that I surround myself in. I'm building a ranch that I can see the reflection of myself in . I want to look around at everything and see my confidence, however fabricated it is. I can fool myself that I know what I'm talking about sometimes. But there are also times that I am surprised by what comes out of my mouth. But I'll keep building my fence with these posts anyway. I synched my iPod's Podcasts with my new iMac and wiped-out all my loaded Podcasts on my iPod...no news and general info for this trip. I was left listening to the same 6740 songs I always have had, but then realized I was shuffling my albums, not my songs. Fixed that. I was between a fidgety, touchy old man who talked to himself and a young Asian lawyer, who told me where to go shopping in Los Gatos. At least we all weren't over-weight. This hotel doesn't have weights for working out, so no restarting the weight regimen this week. And Christian gets braces on his te...

Don't tell me not shop at the mall and buy your baby a shirt with a 'message' on it and then sell her soul on Myspace. page

My flickr page enjoy the Quebec photos

God’s breath is not new. It is the oldest wind to blow across this land we call home and away from home I can see how I will call myself to return to the womb I can’t remember. I can’t place the face of my mother in the time I was young. She is familiar, but not the same. I told Patsy today that the woman I see and call my mom today has no connection to the woman I grew up with as my mother. I know she looks the same, but the feelings are not there. That is why I don’t mind not calling her and checking on her. She feels familiar when I’m near her, but I’m not comfortable around her. I think I tried so hard to get out from under her, that I repressed something by accident. I don’t KNOW. For starters, Mew is calling me to a place I can only describe as familiar. I a place I fell in love with years ago. The tone of the voice is devastating. But then again I fall in love too easily. There are few thing sin this world I can conjure up in my head and produce tears (a few years ...

This stuff is heavy. It's brilliant and it sticks to the walls. It's like Chuck Liddell's loping right hand punch, it comes from a strange place now you're lying on the floor, maybe unconscious. The xylophone finishes the guitar's sentences in "It's All Around You". I haven't heard beauty like that since the first time I heard Bedhead. It's been a weird week: It started with reading a book titled Moonseed about an interstellar 'virus' that 'infects' Earth and destroys it from within. The 'virus' was brought here from a lunar mission by an astronaut nestled in a moon rock. Long story short, a life-sustaining atmosphere is created on the moon and all earthlings end-up living there. Then I get to my hotel room in West Virginia and find in an email that a training site has been added to my schedule for the end of the week in New Jersey...I only packed for 2 days and now I have to work for 4 days. My band also has a...

I learned hemorrhoids are caused by a blockage in the vein that drains the liver and rectum. This vein gets blood 'backed-up' and swells resulting in a pile in the anus. Liver blockages can be caused by too much spicy food. Spices from peppers (jalepeno, red, chili etc.). Some people are more sensitive to these spices than others. In my situation a perfect storm occurred that resulted in a very nice 'baby'. I was eating a lot of spicy foods and doing a variety of lower abdominal exercises. So, I dealt with this for about 2 days and the thing got bigger and very painful. It made me walk funny and and difficult to sit for any amount of time. I ate a lot of ibuprofen and took a sitz bath 3 times a day and after every bowel movement. This little nuisance was running my life. My schedule revolved around this 'problem'. The only thing I could say was thank God this all happened during an in-week and I didn't have to travel. Sitting on a plane and squi...

That's not a question that's a damn lifestyle. To quote the cheesiest Metallica lyric..."My lifestyle is determined by my deathstyle.". Or maybe that's reversed...anyway that's what I'm getting at...not only does drinking alcohol set my mind free, among other things, but it takes so much out of me and shortens my life-span. All dry, good-bye.

This is what I hear when I close my eyes… Broken Social Scene being cool and creative with their beats. I beat beat beat my heart out in and out. I wish I was here to be there to see me crawl around on all 2’s and 3’s. There’s a mystical connection here that we all can’t see but when we do we get scared because we’re too close to the truth about everything. I’m not afraid to talk about ‘big’ things and comment on the world living around me. Really, it sounds grand, but damn, don’t criticize me for speaking up about shit. I only feel sorry for you because you don’t express these things. Don’t think of me as a flake because I’m here doing this. I think its all flakey to say you don’t think about these things because you’re afraid to take –on what you don’t fully understand and stay safe in your highly structured, ordered world. It’s random bitch! Deal with it! Wine is good, but it makes you do stupid shit when nobody’s looking. Blank.

My wife and I took my dad and son to the local pizza buffet for lunch. No problem there right? Well, to be honest, this has happened before. We have been to the pizza buffet a couple times before, it's a good place to eat. Anyway, I get a couple slices from the buffet hotplate/counter, then my wife goes up to the counter while I grab some napkins and straws. I see her out of the corner of my eye and here and old voice say, "pardon me" and I turn to see the overweight sickeningly slob of an old man push his shit-filled Depends-wearing self in front of my wife with his grandchild. I put down my napkins and straws at the table and walk-up to the counter and in a purposely loud voice say, "Did that old man push in front of you?", my wife says, "Yes.". I believe my wife, she's a very honorable person. The elderly sack of shit prolly didn't hear me because he had 2 things on his mind: 1. Eating as much pizza he can thus filling his diaper w...

"I don't know what the freak, freak is happening… old-age, or older-age rather, but I'm ballooning. I won'’t disclose me my exact weight, but it'’s significantly more robust that it has been in the last eight years since I started low-carbing it. For no reason my middle is mui grande and I've been only slightly eating less low-carb lately. I think I may have ruined my body's ability to make use of the food I eat. Any amount of carbs, my body doesn'’t know what to do with it, and it immediately stores it as fat. This may be OK if I keep my carb-intake low for the rest of my life, but what about the long-term health implications? I hear I can ruin my kidneys of I keep eating so much protein etc. I'’ve pretty much written that one off because I think I would have seen signs of kidney trouble by now after 8 years of eating low-carb. But I guess those effects are latent and I wonÂ’t have viable kidneys when I'm 80 years old or something. Al...

It springs forth from below. I do not know where it comes from. Where is it? Where did it go? Who has it? Who really has it? Who posses it? Who really has it? Who can say they have it? Everyone is posing for it but we are all the same...we are all lame...we are all the same.

94.9 in London,ON is NOT a college station which is even better! It's your usual privately owned radio station that puts heavy emphasis on indie/cool/creative music. ROCK ON LONDON, ONTARIO!!!

~this is in Lincoln, NE~

I am back in Canada...in London to be exact. London is about 200km west of Toronto, the hot-bed of music right now. It's cool here literally, 80 degrees at home and 50 degrees here. It's cool here too, for another reason, they recycle everything, everywhere, even in the hotel room they have a recycle bin. The college radio station here, 94.9FM, plays great music and even the larger local station, 96FM, plays Metric. They ARE a local band, but still they're very indie and under the radar. I could live here, anywhere but Texas. The heat kills, the landscape bores etc. Anywhere, but here. This hotel has a kick-ass fitness room: 4 treadmills, 1 bad-ass elliptical, a weight machine, free-weights, 2 benches and 1 rowing machine (which looks like you have a be a kinetic physicist to work it). I have obviously skipped over the previous cities I've worked in like, Jackson, MI, Cumberland, MD (which actually was extremely beautiful being amidst the mountains of we...

My itinerary has changed from New Orleans to Hickory, NC. So here I am in Hickory, NC, the furniture-making capitol of the world. Where's my couch? . Failure to communicate is the key to a disaster... .. I am full of ideas on how to break this down and break us down. It's simple process of denial, lies and hate. Hate being the wild-card. I can deny we exist while looking at my self dead in the mirror. And while I do that I'll lie to you and tell you that you're alive and well in me dreams, that's not true. Just like "Animal Rights" is the worst rock album ever made we can pretend that we're happy and all is good in the world. But back to the task at hand...me, taking you out with one punch. I've seen it done before and I think I have the upper-body strength to do it. Let me try. Give me one shot and if I fail you can walk away. I've been practicing this move, so let me try, just once. After all the years I've loved and respect...

... your murder. I 'm lost, your lost and lust. We are all dirty, filthy particles of dust. Misery is everywhere, bring me flowers and I will cry for them. I don't mind the ridicule from the boys who don't cry or the macho heads who say that we shouldn't express ourselves, ALL OF YOU...FUCK YOU ALL!!! I WILL MURDER YOU FOR YOUR LIES AND HIDING, YOU STUPID FUCKS AND YOUR HIDING PLACES, FUCK YOU ALL TO HELL AND BURN TO DEATH. I am string for releasing the inner man. I am miserable, I am humble, I sleep underground tonight and dream, oh I dream. I dream of me and you together sleeping tightly, nightly and soft from the rain and the wind trying to change us and weather us to smooth our sharp edges and make us ineffectual. I will lie here and breathe. Beat me, oh, beat me to death, but I'm already dead, I beat you to it, I beat you to it tonight. Tonight belongs to me and my lonely soul.

my photos

"What if I looked you square-dead in the eye and told you I was gonna hurt you in ways that would make your deceased mother sick? Made her vomit a pool of sorrow and pain? I can do that. Make you and her slip and slide in that puddle of mess and lose you footing on life?" What do you say to that? I was left staggering and motionless while my brain rocked and reeled it's way back to consciousness. I have never been hit that hard in the gut and soul. Words like that don't come along very often especially from a woman like this one here. I swore I would get back at her for saying that to me or anyone else. There are times you can get away with that, but this wasn't one of them there was no time for conflict and people around was were getting a little concerned with us. I needed to get on a plane and make my flight to San Fran...quick. I had no time to deal with this right now. The hour was getting late, the fog was settling in and my gun was getting cold...

It springs forth from below. i do not know where it comes from. where is it? where did it go? who has it? who really has it? who posses it? who really has it ? who can say they have it ? everyone is posing for it but we are all the same...we are all lame...we are all the same.

Oh, this headache. Wife's gone gambling in Lake Charles, I'm here watching the kids watch Doom . I have not blogged in a while coz my job's kickin' up on me taking away my free-time and stuff. But I have been alive. I've seen some good movies. I actually thought Starsky and hutch was good, but what else you gonna get when you put Ben Stiller , Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson together? A good movie, that's what you get. In my travels with my job I've eaten at some good places too. Can't remember all of them, but they've been in: Beaumont, TX, Charlotte, NC, Detroit, MI. OK, this is getting to be a lame-ass blog. "Today I saw a pony...". Nothing new here. n/p-Doom, the movie